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The Right Reasons 4: A Friend in Need
Rating: IM15 Summary: Harm gives Mac a shoulder to cry on. Disclaimer: See Part 1 for disclaimers. Spoilers: All the way through the Season 9 finale. Let’s hope I get this done before Season 10 begins. AN: As you can see, this has sort of split into two separate stories. Hopefully the points of views and storylines won’t get too jumbled up.
Mac’s Apartment
“Mac, what’s wrong?” he asked her, gathering her into his arms.
“Oh my God … it was so … real,” she gasped out between sobs.
“What was so real?” he said. “Wait a minute – let me get you a glass of water before you answer. He dashed into the bathroom and filled a glass for her. “Here. Drink.” He watched her as shivers ran through her body. “Are you cold? Let me get a blanket on you.” He pulled up the blankets that had twisted around her feet and covered her.
She leaned against him, grateful for his comforting arms. Finally, she felt calm enough to tell him what happened.
“It was a dream. I know it was a dream. But it was so real. I was pregnant.” She blushed. “And you were the father. We were so excited. Suddenly I was out in the woods, alone. Then all of the men I’d been with, dead or alive, were there. They surrounded me.
“They took my baby, and told me I didn’t deserve to have him and they’d make sure I’d never have another.” She shuddered. “And then I woke up, and I felt my stomach and it was flat and I knew they were right. And I never felt so empty in my life.”
Harm brushed her sweaty hair back. “Mac, it’s all right. It was just a dream.”
“Yeah, but … maybe there was some truth in it.”
“How so?”
“I could never give those men what they wanted from me – my love – so they took from me what I wanted. A child.” She ducked her head, but Harm knew she was crying again.
“But you told Webb-”
“I told him I loved him. But it was more from guilt than actual feeling. I was so lonely, and he was there and loved me. And loving me killed him, like it killed Chris, and Dalton …” Harm rocked her against him as she cried, her grief and guilt over Webb finally coming to the surface
“Mac,” Harm said as she relaxed again, “the doctor didn’t say it was impossible to have children. So it’s not guaranteed. It isn’t guaranteed for anyone. Look at Bud and Harriet. After losing Sarah, they had the courage to try again, and they have Jimmy and they’re pregnant again.” He hugged her. “All I’m saying is, don’t blame yourself for this. It’s a challenge you have to face. But not alone.”
She smiled at him. “Thank you, Harm. You believe in me, when I stop believing in myself. Why?”
Harm knew it wasn’t the right time to say ‘because I love you’. “Because you are someone worth believing in.”
A single tear ran down Mac’s face at that quiet statement. He gently wiped it away with his thumb.
“Harm, stay with me tonight,” Mac whispered.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Harm replied. “I already made up the bed on the sofa.”
“No. I mean stay here with me.”
“Are you sure?”
“If I’m alone, I know I won’t go back to sleep.”
If I stay here, I won’t be able to go to sleep, Harm thought to himself. “Of course I’ll stay. Let’s just get comfortable.” He rearranged the pillows and blankets so he was leaning against the pillows and Mac could curl up against him. She nestled against him.
“Thank you, Harm.” Her voice was growing drowsy.
“It’s no problem.” He gently kissed her forehead. “Sleep tight.”
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