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Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' By: slick1969
Summary: What if Harm and Mac got together and it didn't work out? Rating: IM15 Disclaimer: Despite all of my efforts, I still don't own the characters from JAG. The song (Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin') belongs to Journey. Spoilers: Anything through Season 10 is fair game. Author's Note: Don't count on any resolutions in this one, but lots of angst.
Saturday Evening Harm's Apartment Harm walked in the apartment and threw his keys on the table next to the door. He didn't look at the answering machine - he knew there wouldn't be any messages. Certainly none from her. He put a CD in the stereo and hit "Play". Steve Perry's inimitable voice soared out through the speakers.
He thought back to months ago, just after the Admiral's retirement party and their search for Webb, when she asked him out. *~*Flashback*~* Friday Afternoon JAG Headquarters "Hey, flyboy. Got plans for tonight?" Mac stood in his doorway. "Just me, this case file and a plate of lasagna." Harm grinned at her. "Are you offering something more tempting?" "Maybe. I was thinking a dinner at Olive's - my treat - and then ... who knows?" She winked at him. "Sounds great to me." And that was the beginning for them. Dinner at Olive's was wonderful - time melted away and it was as if Paraguay and Webb had never happened. They ended up at Mac's apartment that night - and the next. For two months, the two were inseparable. At JAG, they kept things low-key. Until they were sure where things were headed, they didn't want to make it public. For his part, Harm was sure of his feelings. He loved Mac. She was the one. But Mac was more reticent. And that was cause of some friction between the couple. The physical chemistry was undeniable - but Harm was looking for a connection on the emotional level. "Harm, this isn't working," Mac told him one evening. His arms tightened around her. "What do you mean?" "Us. I can't give you what you deserve. I want to, but I just can't right now." "I'm a patient man." "I don't know if I'll ever be able to, Harm. I think we should see other people." And like that, it was over. *~*End Flashback*~* Harm shook his head - it was no good reflecting on negative things.
He just wished he'd been able to bounce back as well Mac had. Almost immediately, she had started seeing someone else. *~*Flashback*~* Mattie had come back for a visit and Harm wanted to do something special for her. He decided dinner at Olive's would be good for them both. Since he and Mac had "broken up", he'd spent his evenings at JAG HQ, working on cases. "I'm so glad to be spending some time with you, Harm," Mattie told him as the waiter led them to their table. "And you've been working too much lately." Harm cocked an eyebrow at her. "Jen told me about your new schedule since you and Mac stopped going out." Mattie put a hand on his forearm. "I don't want to talk about that, Mattie. Tonight's about you." Mattie didn't answer - she was staring at something in the dining room. Harm followed her gaze and saw her. Mac was sitting at a table with another man - it was Clayton Webb, of all people. From the look of things - they were feeding each other bites of their meals - the two were getting pretty close again. Harm's appetite deserted him. He pulled the waiter's arm and told him that he wasn't feeling well and was going to head home. He and Mattie quickly left and returned home. With any luck, Mac didn't see him. *~*End Flashback*~* Unrealistic though it had been, he had held in his head a fantasy that even though he and Mac weren't together, that neither of them would find another to be with. That night destroyed that illusion.
The week after that night at the restaurant was the worst in a long time for him. Seeing Mac with a glow on her face, and knowing someone else was the cause of it, sparked a deep jealousy within Harm. He did his best to suppress these feelings and kept their relationship at work professional. It was difficult when Mac's relationship with Webb became public, but he managed somehow. More than anything, he mourned the loss of a close friend. Maybe they should never have crossed that line. Sturgis was still there for him, but it wasn't the same as what he and Mac had had. Going to work at JAG was now a torture. He requested, and was granted, a transfer to the SecNav's office. That way he wouldn't see her every day and be reminded of what he had never had. It was now just over a month since he had first seen Mac and Webb together, and thinking about her hadn't gotten any easier.
He looked up and noticed the red light flashing on his answering machine. Probably Mattie, making sure he wasn't moping at home alone on a Saturday night. He played the message. He was shocked to hear Mac's voice, tearful.
Harm paused the message and rubbed his face. "And what can I do about that, Mac?" He continued playing it.
The message ended with a click. Harm sighed. Mac had really gotten herself into a mess this time, and she had turned to him help bail her out. He toyed with the idea of not returning the call, but realized he wasn't that hard-hearted yet. But he wouldn't call her tonight.
The End. |