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Loose Lips

By:  slick1969

Summary:  Response to a JAG-a-thon fanfiction challenge:  use at least five Disney characters in a story.  Title is based on the saying "loose lips sink ships".  Harm and some other JAG staff indulge in some silliness at lunch.

Rating:  GS Guidance Suggested - Contains some situations unsuitable for children

Disclaimer:  I own these characters ... yeah right, I wish I did.  I promise to play nicely with them, though.

Spoilers:  Anything up through Season 10 is fair game.

Thursday Afternoon

JAG Headquarters

Harm walked through the JAG cafeteria.  It was unusually packed, so he was having a hard time finding a place to sit.  Memories of middle and high school flashed through his head.  Finally, he saw some friendly faces in the crowd.  "Is this spot taken?" He asked Mac.

She smiled up at him. "It is now.  Have a seat," she replied as she scooted over to make room for him. "Besides, you can help resolve our debate." She gestured towards Bud and Sturgis, who were also sitting at the table.

Harm quirked an eyebrow at her. "Which is?"

"Who's the best James Bond - Sean Connery, Roger Moore, or Pierce Brosnan?"  It was clear that each of them at the table had a different opinion.

"Oh, no question about that.  Sean Connery is the ultimate James Bond."

Sturgis broke into a smile. "I knew there was a reason for you joining us, Harm." Mac grimaced at them, and he continued, "No one can compare to Sean Connery as Bond in my book."

Lunch continued and their conversation kept going, moving from James Bond to TV shows to Disney movies.

"What's your favorite - old Disney or new Disney?" Bud asked.

"I guess I'm old school - classic Disney is the best," Harm commented, and Bud nodded in agreement.

"You mean you don't like The Little Mermaid or Aladdin?" Mac asked. "Great animation, great music and lyrics, amazing characters."

"Oh, I like them all right.  But I'd rather watch Fantasia, or even better, The Aristocats." Harm leaned back in his chair.

"I know exactly what you mean, sir," Bud grinned with enthusiasm.  The quartet debated about the virtues of "classic Disney", as Bud called it, versus "modern Disney".

"Did you get the special edition DVD of Fantasia, sir?" Bud asked. When Harm shook his head, Bud offered to let him borrow it.

"Do you actually have a DVD player yet, Harm?" Mac teased.

Harm rolled his eyes. "I was the guardian of a teenage girl for a year.  What do you think?"

Sturgis broke in. "Since we're on a Disney kick, what Disney characters do our esteemed colleagues at JAG resemble?"

Bud whistled. "That could be dangerous, sir."

Sturgis said, "I'll go first.  Petty Officer Coates would make a good Snow White."  Harm snorted, but Sturgis ignored him. "The long, dark hair and the fair skin.  She'd be perfect."

Mac was next. "Bud, I always pictured you as one of the Seven Dwarfs."

Bud winced. "Which one, ma'am?"

"Happy."

He sighed in relief. "At least it's not Dopey, ma'am."

"No, that's Harm." Harm pretended not to listen as Sturgis said, "I always thought of him as Peter Pan, myself."

"Okay, it's my turn." Harm looked around the table. "Does anyone remember the cat Duchess from The Aristocats?" When he got a few nods, he continued. "I see Harriet as Duchess.  Always dignified, even when in trying circumstances."

"Should I be jealous, sir?" Bud joked. "You know, I've always pictured myself as Goofy."  Harm and Mac were quick to deny that.

"While you're as goodhearted as Goofy, you're a lot less, well, goofy," Harm told him with a smile. "Tiner would have been perfect for that role."

"So who else is a secret Disney character?" Sturgis asked.  They were all getting into this.

The Admiral on a bad day was definitely Grouchy, and on a good day, he was Prince Charming - any of them.  Lt. Singer was Cruella de Vil.

Finally, they got to the General.

"Cresswell?" Mac tapped her finger on her lips, thinking. "Nothing comes to mind."

After a couple of minutes, Harm snapped his fingers. "I know who he is!  Donald Duck."

The other three gave him a strange look.

"Think about it - he's pretty inscrutable sometimes, isn't he?  Just when you think you've got him figured out, he gives you that look ..."

"Well, I certainly hope I don't squawk like Donald Duck, Commander," the General's voice came from behind Harm.  He turned bright red in embarrassment. "Uh, sir, uh ..."

Creswell held up a hand. "Don't try to explain it, Rabb. You'll just dig yourself in deeper." He walked on past to the cafeteria exit.

"Some friends I have," Harm looked accusingly at Mac, Bud and Sturgis, who were barely holding in their laughs.

"Well, Harm," Sturgis drawled, "I think I agree with Mac now."

"What?"

"You're definitely Dopey."

The End.