Car Wash
Summary: Harriet organizes a JAG charity car wash. See what hilarity ensues.
In case you couldn’t tell, this is a fluff piece.
Rating: GS
Disclaimer: Don’t own the show (DPB does) and don’t own the song (some
big record company does). But I do own the vision of a shirtless Harm!
Author’s Notes: Thanks to Mac for giving me the idea for this one (even
if she doesn't remember
).
The charity I used here is real. The Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society provides
assistance (financial and otherwise) to Navy/Marine Corps members, families and
survivors. See their web site for more info:
http://www.nmcrs.org/
Spoilers: Through Season 9, but ignoring those parts that don’t suit me.
Ooh ooh
You might not ever get rich
But let me tell ya it's better than diggin' a ditch
There ain't no tellin' who you might meet
A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief
Saturday Morning
Gas Station, Falls Church, VA
Harm pulled his Corvette into the Shell parking lot. He saw the Roberts’ minivan
and the Admiral’s SUV, but no sign of Mac or Sturgis yet. Good – I’m not the
last one here, he thought to himself.
This time the Admiral truly had taken leave of his senses. Sure, the cause was a
good one – the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society – but a car wash?
Harm marveled that Harriet had been able to get the idea approved by the
Admiral. He guessed that with so little time left before his retirement, maybe
the Admiral thought a car wash would be fun.
Not that he didn’t entirely disagree - seeing Mac in wet clothes, preferably a
bathing suit, would definitely qualify as “fun”.
Shortly after he got there, the rest of the JAG crew had arrived. Mac moved so
she was standing next to Harm, while Harriet was explaining what they were
doing.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she muttered to him.
“I guess the Admiral wanted to go out with a splash,” he whispered back.
Mac stifled a laugh at that comment, and earned a dirty look from Harriet.
They quieted down and paid attention to Harriet after that.
“Remember, everyone, the money we raise will go to help families in need. With
spouses in Iraq, some families are having a tough time making ends meet. So
let’s go wash some cars!”
(Workin')
At the car wash
Workin' at the car wash, girl
Come on and sing it with me
(Car wash)
Sing it with the feelin' ya'all
(Car wash, girl)
Ooh!
After Harriet finished giving instructions, everyone paired off into teams for
washing vehicles. Coates, Mattie and little AJ stood out by the road and held up
signs encouraging people to pull in and get their cars washed.
Fortunately, the weather had turned out sunny and warm. Before long, the cars
were lined up waiting, and the JAG lawyers were hard-pressed to keep up.
Some of the work gets kinda hard
This ain't no place to be if you planned on bein' a star
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you act the fool
Harm was paired with Mac. He was busily scrubbing some mud off the fender of a
car when a wet sponge hit him in the face. Looking up, he saw Mac laughing at
him.
He quickly gRabbed the sponge she had thrown and dunked it in the bucket of
water next to him and lobbed it back at her. Soon, they were involved in a
full-scale water fight.
She countered with two sponges – even though he dodged one, the other smacked
him in the chest. He picked up the bucket of water and heaved it at her. It
soaked her hair and shirt. Mac responded by gRabbing the hose and spraying him,
dousing him from head to toe.
“Guess I won’t be wearing this home,” Harm said, tugging off his shirt and
trying to wring it out. He laid it out across the back of his car, hoping it
would dry.
At the car wash
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Talkin' about the car wash, girl
Come on, ya'all and sing it for me
(Car wash)
Oooh oooh oooh
(Car wash, girl)
Harriet called over to Harm and Mac, “Are you two having problems?”
“What do you mean?” Harm yelled back.
“Well, you’ve only gotten two cars washed, sir. Commander Turner and the Admiral
have washed six cars, and even Bud and I got four cars done.”
“Well,” Harm said, “Maybe we’re more meticulous when it comes to cleaning cars.
And besides, I’m stuck working with a Marine.”
“Stuck?!” Mac picked up a bucket of soapy water and dumped it over Harm’s head.
“Do you want to rephrase your response, maybe?” She had a dangerous tone to her
voice.
Harm looked sheepish. “Uh, I meant, of course Marines pay more attention
to details, so we’re making sure every car is spotless.”
“Really, sir?” Harriet asked. She smiled and pointed to the car they had just
finished. Its mud flaps were still coated in mud.
Mac turned bright red. “Let’s get to the next car, Harm.”
(Work and work)
Well, those cars never seem to stop coming
(Work and work)
Keep those rags and machines humming
(Work and work)
My fingers to the bone
(Work)
Can't wait till it's time to go home
At the end of the day, everyone was exhausted but happy. They had raised a total
of $2,000 – thanks in part to a generous gift from the SecNav, who had just
happened to stop by that particular gas station. He thought the fundraiser was a
great idea, and especially enjoyed having Harm and Mac clean every inch of his
car.
“What are you doing now?” Harm asked as Mac walked towards her car.
“I was thinking of going home, cleaning up and ordering some Chinese. Then spend
the evening watching mindless television. And you?”
“I was thinking of going home, cleaning up and then bringing some Chinese over
to your place. Sound good?” Harm smiled at Mac.
“Works for me. You do make a good delivery boy,” and she winked at him as she
pulled away.
(Hey, get your car washed today)
Fill up and you don't have to pay
Come on and give us a play
(Do the wash, right away)
(The car wash)
Talkin' 'bout the car wash
Car wash, girl
Come on, ya'all, let's sing it with me
(Car wash)
Sing it with feelin', ya'all
(Car wash, girl)
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
(Car wash)
Never seem to stop comin'
What'd I say
Keep those rags and machines hummin'
(Car wash)
Let me tell you, it's always cool . . .
The End.